What is man's greatest fear? Fear of the unknown. We get so comfortable in our little world, even if we don't like it that much, that we don't change to who we would like to be. We don't do what we would like to do (lose weight, write a book, make a new friend, get a new job, pick up a new hobby) because it involves change. We don't know what will happen if we try something new, and so we sit in our regular, comfortable mediocrity.
I usually think it's because we don't want to fail. What if I try something, and I fail? Everyone will know, and that's scary. Then I came across this quote from Marianne Williamson:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
I realized that this is definitely the case for me sometimes. I know there are several things that I've excused myself from doing because I was worried that if I succeeded in a certain area, others I love that have similar goals would feel bad.
Don't let other people hold you back. Don't let you hold yourself back.
I know sometimes I get a little overwhelmed thinking about what would happen if I was successful at something I want. It seems like there would be so much to do and learn that I decide not to go for it after all. Sometimes I'm afraid of success because it will bring change. I look at what others have and are doing and wonder how they do it, how they got where they are. Could I really do that, be that?
Usually what brings me out of it is another successful person who let their light shine, and I follow their example. Here's the trick: Don't let other's success intimidate, but let their success inspire you. Find out the story behind where they are today. Everybody starts out having to learn and do, just like you. Some people do seem to have an extraordinary amount of luck. Even if you are lucky, you still have to put in a lot of time and effort to be really good at something.
Take the first step. Then take another and another until you get where you want to be. You'll almost certainly have mistakes and problems, maybe even stop for awhile, but if you just take another step then eventually you will be amazing. Every once in a while take a look back at your progress and admire how far you've come.
Even if you only get as far as two steps, at least that is two steps farther than someone who never tried.
Be who you are meant to be, who you want to be, the best you that you can be.
If you are not offended by swearing and by blatant truth, then read this article: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/. For those who would like the short version, here it is:
6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person:
6. The world only cares about what it can get from you.
5. The Hippies were wrong.
4. What you produce does not have to make money, but it does have to benefit people.
3. You hate yourself because you don't do anything.
2. What you are inside only matters because of what it makes you do.
1. Everything inside you will fight improvement.
The article has you imagine someone that you love is dying on the sidewalk. You would only want someone who has the medical knowledge to work on your loved one. You wouldn't care if they were really nice, a good husband, or the best golf player in the world if they were not a doctor that could help. Now reverse that, the world is you, and you are the person trying to help. The world doesn't care how cute or nice you are, whether you are a good cook or a straight A student. They only care if you can fix their problem, fill the need, help the person.
Lonely people are a good example. If you are lonely or alone, you want someone to help you not be alone. You wonder why that person didn't talk to you. You wish people would find you and be your friend. You are indignant because nobody sat by you. You have a need and no one is filling it. You don't care about the details of the people who ignore you, you just realize that they are ignoring you.
Here's the fix- be the change that you want to see in the world (Gandhi). If you want a friend, be a friend. If you want someone to sit by you, then go sit by them. If you want to dance, ask someone to dance. If you want to someone to talk to you, then go to talk to them.
If you want to do something, then go do it. If you want to achieve something then go achieve it. If you want to be something then go be it.
Yes, life does slap you in the face ... a lot. You fall down and feel hurt. Then the best people get up and slap life back. You knocked me down, Life, but I got up and was awesome anyways, so there!
Stay tuned for the next blog post....