Forty Years of Life

 Today is my 40th birthday! When I was younger this seemed so old, but now I've arrived, it seems so young. Here are four things I've learned through each decade of life:

0-10 years old: It's okay to have someone take care of you when you can't do it yourself.

11-20 years old: Learn to be independent and do things for yourself.

21-30 years old: Figure out who you are and what you really want from life.

31-40 years old: Be kind, we're all struggling with a lot and pretending we're fine. 

In the next decade, I'm hoping to become more empathetic and sharing. I'm hoping to take more time to do the things I love instead of the easy mediocre things. I'm hoping my family will draw even closer together as we realize time together is fleeting and precious. I'm hoping I keep becoming my best self.

Open Yourself Up To Light

 

Open yourself up to light.

When you've been in a dark room, turning on the light or walking outside into the sunlight can hurt your eyes. You have to adjust gradually. When you are really cold, even mildly warm water feels like it is burning your skin. You have to adjust gradually. 

When your mind and soul have been in a cold or dark place, you have to gradually open yourself up to light and warmth. Jumping straight in can hurt and burn. 

When trying to help people who are in a dark place we want to give so much love, but coming from a loveless place, including not loving themselves, can be overwhelming and painful. We need to keep the help and love available and let them gradually open themselves and adjust to a new way of feeling. 

Every step in the right direction, even if it's small, even if it's after going the wrong direction again, will slowly go closer to the light. Eventually you realize by looking back how far you have come and how bright your life is now. Then you reach back a hand and a heart to others and patiently wait.

An Extraordinary Ordinary Life

"Shine like the sun, make darkness run and hide. 

We know we were made for so 

much more than ordinary lives. 

It's time for us to more than just survive. 

We were made to thrive." -Casting Crowns

 

"...(W)e were made for so much more than ordinary lives. ... We were made to thrive." Are you thriving or surviving? Are you living an ordinary life or an extraordinary ordinary life?

It's not about being famous or rich, educated or accomplished. It's about thriving, living an extraordinary ordinary life. An ordinary but elevated life.

What makes an extraordinary ordinary life? It depends on the person. Some things that I believe make for an extraordinary ordinary life where you thrive are the following: love, peace, close family and friends, understanding your self-worth, following your dreams, and being true to who you are and what you believe.

When you make the best of your life wherever you are and are intrinsically happy, happy because of you, then you can thrive in many circumstances.

Unfortunately many times true greatness isn't seen until after true tragedy. Those that rise from the devastation of their lives and continue to be, or change into, a loving and serving person. There are many organizations that were founded after the untimely death of a loved one from a fatal disease. There are amazing deeds of service done after natural catastrophes strike.

 

We don't all need to be world renowned heroes, but we can be heroes to those in our sphere of influence- those we interact with in our daily lives. Making choices that benefit our lives and the lives of others will help us to live elevated extraordinary ordinary lives.

Words of Encouragement

The world is in corona-chaos right now. People are panicking, having anxiety attacks, and suffering in multiple ways. It's not fun and it doesn't seem fair. But who said life had to be fair? A five year old said life had to be fair. As adults we know life isn't fair. Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people. People lose their faith in God, in themselves, in humanity. I choose to keep my faith.

I keep my faith in God, in myself, and in humanity. As there will always be terrible people, there will also always be amazing people. Seek out the amazing people- the helpers, the optimistic, the truth tellers, the kind, the patient, the funny, the encouragers, the givers.

"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers - so many caring people in this world." -Mr Rogers

I echo the sentiments that you've been hearing lately because we all need gentle reminders of goodness, hope, and peace.

Be kind to yourself. You don't need to bake bread because everyone else is doing it. You don't need to follow a schedule because everyone else is doing it. You don't need to be anyone else except yourself.

Be kind to others. You can never truly know everything in someone's life.

Be prepared. Don't hide your head under the blanket and watch Netflix all day without first getting the supplies you need and getting news from reliable sources.

Be generous. You don't have to give away everything you prepared, but if you can spare a 6 pack of toilet paper to someone who has none, then do it.

Eat as healthy as you can. Since people are taking less frequent trips to the grocery store, click here for a list of produce that will stay fresh longer.

Keep positive thoughts in your head to balance out the negative. Here's a catchy song to keep you going the next few weeks.

Been There, Done That

So has the corona-chaos quarantine descended on your home as well? My kids are doing okay. We've been through something similar before, as have lots of families with cancer.

My daughter has been dealing with cancer for the last four years, and while we were doing chemo we were on semi-lock down. Husband still went to work but lots of sanitizer and hand washing, no shoes in the house, very limited visitors (only those who were not sick and no one in their household was sick either), wearing masks if we were sick to not pass it on to our chemo ridden daughter, trick-or-treating bedroom door to bedroom door in our three bedroom apartment, only one parent goes to the grocery store, taking daughter out for doctor appointments, and multiple hospital stays.

But, this is a big but, my kids look back fondly on the time spent in that small apartment. Many times when we drive by, they point it out and say they want to go back. We worked hard to make it the best we could under the circumstances. So between administering shots to our daughter, home-nurse visits, and medicine, we had lots of treats, play time, fun and love. We spent time together playing, watching lots of tv, reading books, and eating more treats.

"The attitude you have as a parent is what your kids will learn from more than what you tell them. They don't remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are." - Jim Henson

Teach your kids to find fun, find joy, find peace, find laughter, find themselves. They will appreciate the time you spend together if you appreciate it first. It doesn't mean it will always be easy or there will be no fighting, but the more good there is, the more good they will remember.