Screen Free Week

I know several people who do Screen Free Week every so often. No tv, no computer, no video games, no tablet, no ipad, no ereader, no internet on the phone. I've never felt a strong compulsion to do this.

I need to check my email consistently for work, and I like to be able to look things up quickly on the internet. I love/hate Facebook- I like that I can keep up with people's lives that I don't see all the time, but I don't like all the stuff I have to scroll through to get a few important items, especially the new advertising. I love writing on this blog, and I've got my Etsy store. Pinterest is always fun, as well as Goodreads, and reading other people's blogs. I keep track of several accounts online, like the bank, library, etc.... As far as tv goes, I like the Today show, Rachael Ray, Studio 5, Jeopardy, and catching other shows here and there, and Netflix. My daughter likes Curious George, Sid the Science Kid, Wild Kratts, Dinosaur Train, Daniel Tiger, Super Why, and pretty much any cartoon, but those are the ones I don't mind. We really don't watch that much tv, it's just catching a show here and there.

When my family took a trip to California earlier this year, we were hardly in front of computers and tvs. I didn't really miss watching tv, or playing on the computer. I did miss writing on this blog though. I really enjoy writing blog posts.

For those like me, with lots on their minds, it can help to write it out. Getting a journal, a diary, a blog, a website, some scratch paper, or a note pad and writing your thoughts can be very cathartic. You can share or can keep it private. Writing down your thoughts acts like a pensieve in Harry Potter. You can put your whirling thoughts and memories down onto paper (or screen), and then you don't have to worry about remembering them or thinking about them.

It can help to solve problems also. Sometimes when you get writing, more thoughts flow out than you expected. You may surprise yourself with your own wisdom. The best psychologist is yourself. When you don't have a person to act as a sounding board to bounce ideas off, then you can use yourself. Write down all your thoughts, then come back to it later. Sometimes a little time is all you need to solve your problems, or at least to gain some new perspective.

When in doubt, write it out!

Confessions Of A Non-Animal Lover

I wrote this post for another blog I contribute to: http://www.becominglovely.com/2013/06/confessions-of-non-animal-lover.html.

There are so many people who love animals, love pets, love any creature that crawls, wiggles, runs, or flies. Admittedly some animals can be very cute and adorable, especially when they are babies. But, I just can't love them.

I don't like how animals shed. Dog and cat owners are frequently covered in hair, as well as their couches and carpets. Snakes and tarantulas shed their skin and leave ghost snakes and tarantulas behind.

There is always poo and pee to clean up, and it doesn't smell good. Though we don't own any animals, we have had to do our share of cleaning up the yard from various neighbor dogs. We're also pretty sure that the next door cats have left some 'presents' in our unplanted box gardens.

I shy away from picking up animals because it unnerves me when I can feel their ribs through a fluffy coat of fur. They wriggle and squirm when picked up also, and I'm worried about dropping them.

Major confession: When I see you pet your dog, then reach into the potato chip bag, then lick your fingers after your chips, then pet your dog, chips, repeat cycle.... it makes me never want to eat potato chips again. Also, open mouth kisses with your dog? Ewww.

We had two rabbits and a guinea pig growing up. It was really fun to feed them, but I didn't enjoy cleaning up after them. When I had to pick one of them up, I would wrap them in a towel first. It's calming to pet animals, but I always feel like I have to wash my hands afterwards.

I do enjoy looking at animals though, especially the zoo. It's fun to see all the different types of animals and learn about their amazing lives. I do appreciate also that people can get much love and comfort from pets, and I'm grateful that those people have animals.

I also have a mildish fear of dogs. The small yapping ones aren't as worrisome because I know I can kick them away if they bite me. But the big dogs, especially German shepards and pitbulls are slightly terrifying.

Many times I have gone the long way around to avoid a dog on the loose. When I'm with my husband and a dog starts barking and running towards us, I squeeze his hand and try to remain calm. Everyone says dogs can smell fear- is that actually true? Also, they say to not bare your teeth at them because it's a show of aggression.

Watching Cesar Millan's Dog Whisperer show has helped a lot. He tells the dogs that he is the master, and they always end up giving in to him because he is the alpha dog in the relationship. He has an amazing way with dogs, and I'm glad he's willing to take so many dogs in and train them.

Just growing up and being in charge of others has helped as well. When I'm alone with my baby on a walk, I can handle the dog situation much more rationally because I am in charge of her safety. I have to take care of her, so I do.

My daughter seems to have taken a fascination to animals though. Whenever there are animals of any kind on tv, she stares and gets excited. She loves to pet cats and dogs. I'm pretty sure she'll want a pet when she's older, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it!

Narrowing Path

My devouring of books lately is being reflected in my blog posts with many book quotes. I've just come upon several good books that I've wanted to share with you.

This latest book of mine is A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin. The reference to a mage in the quote must be taken in the context of a wizarding world.

"You thought, as a boy, that a mage is one who can do anything. So I thought, once. So did we all. And the truth is that a man's real power grows and his knowledge widens, ever the way he can follow grows narrower: until at last he chooses nothing, but does only and wholly what he must do...."

I believe every child has wanted to be an adult at one point because then they could do anything they wanted anytime they wanted, or so they thought. While there is some truth to that wishful thinking, there is a lot of truth to the above quote.

Honestly, if we didn't have to have a job and work, how many of us would? Not many. Or we would just work a little here and there. How many of us would go to bed at a decent hour, mop the floor, and weed the yard if we didn't have to? Not many. We would do it sometimes but probably not enough.

A child's concept of adult life is like a Peter Pan Never Land imaging. When you're an adult you can go to any restaurant you want any time. You can watch whatever you want. You get to tell other people what to do. Nobody makes you eat your vegetables. Nobody makes you do homework.

As children turn into teenagers, they test their new found freedoms with mixed results and learn from experience. They learn to be responsible, hopefully, and a good contributor to society.

As teens turn into adults, they learn that technically they have the ability to choose to do whatever they want, but there are consequences to all choices and making the right choices, though potentially boring, seems to be the best way.

Many people find rules, laws, religion, regulations, demands, and instructions to be prohibiting of the free lifestyle their inner child still craves. In truth, like the quote, those rules show a path where one must go and do if they want to achieve true happiness and peace.

There are as many variations of this path as there are people, but there is still just a narrow road that leads to true happiness versus temporary indulgence and amusement.

Regardless of any laws, commandments, and rules, can I stay up all night tonight while drinking and having unprotected sex with strangers and throwing rocks through windows? Yes, I can. Yes, you can. Yes, anyone can do that. Can I do that without any negative consequences? Absolutely not.

Any person at any moment can choose to do bad or good, but most choose to do good because they have learned that all choices have consequences. So can I go do drugs tonight to relax my mind after a long week? Yes, but more importantly, will I? No, because I don't like the consequences associated with it.

Can I go to bed at a decent hour after eating vegetables with my dinner tonight? Yes, but more importantly, will I? Hopefully, because I do like the consequences associated with it.

Yes, we all have the power to make infinite choices of good and bad at all times, but we stick to the narrow path, not because someone told us to, but because we know it leads to true happiness, which is always worth having.

To The Parents Of Small Children

To parents of small children: Let me be the one who says it out loud -- The Actual Pastor

I am in a season of my life right now where I feel bone tired almost all of the time. Ragged, how-am-I-going-to-make-it-to-the-end-of-the-day, eyes burning exhausted.

I have three boys ages 5 and under. I’m not complaining about that. Well, maybe I am a little bit. But I know that there are people who would give anything for a house full of laughter & chaos. I was that person for years and years; the pain of infertility is stabbing and throbbing and constant. I remember allowing hope to rise and then seeing it crash all around me, month after month, for seven years. I am working on another post about infertility that will come at a later date.

But right now, in my actual life, I have three boys ages five and under. There are many moments where they are utterly delightful, like last week when Isaac told my sister-in-law that “My daddy has hair all over.” Or when Elijah put a green washcloth over his chin and cheeks, and proudly declared, “Daddy! I have a beard just like you!” Or when Ben sneaks downstairs in the morning before the other boys do, smiles at me, and says, “Daddy and Ben time.”

But there are also many moments when I have no idea how I’m going to make it until their bedtime. The constant demands, the needs, and the fighting are fingernails across the chalkboard every single day. 

One of my children is for sure going to be the next Steve Jobs. I now have immense empathy for his parents. He has a precise vision of what he wants — exactly that way and no other way. Sometimes it’s the way his plate needs to be centered exactly to his chair, or how his socks go on, or exactly how the picture of the pink dolphin needs to look – with brave eyes, not sad eyes, daddy! He is a laser beam, and he is not satisfied until it’s exactly right.

I have to confess that sometimes the sound of his screaming drives me to hide in the pantry. And I will neither confirm nor deny that while in there, I compulsively eat chips and/or dark chocolate.

There are people who say this to me:

“You should enjoy every moment now! They grow up so fast!”

I usually smile and give some sort of guffaw, but inside, I secretly want to hold them under water. Just for a minute or so. Just until they panic a little.

If you have friends with small children — especially if your children are now teenagers or if they’re grown – please vow to me right now that you will never say this to them. Not because it’s not true, but because it really, really doesn’t help.

We know it’s true that they grow up too fast. But feeling like I have to enjoy every moment doesn’t feel like a gift, it feels like one more thing that is impossible to do, and right now, that list is way too long. Not every moment is enjoyable as a parent; it wasn’t for you, and it isn’t for me. You just have obviously forgotten. I can forgive you for that. But if you tell me to enjoy every moment one more time, I will need to break up with you.

If you are a parent of small children, you know that there are moments of spectacular delight, and you can’t believe you get to be around these little people. But let me be the one who says the following things out loud:

You are not a terrible parent if you can’t figure out a way for your children to eat as healthy as your friend’s children do.

She’s obviously using a bizarre and probably illegal form of hypnotism.

You are not a terrible parent if you yell at your kids sometimes. You have little dictators living in your house. If someone else talked to you like that, they’d be put in prison.

You are not a terrible parent if you can’t figure out how to calmly give them appropriate consequences in real time for every single act of terrorism that they so creatively devise.

You are not a terrible parent if you’d rather be at work.

You are not a terrible parent if you just can’t wait for them to go to bed.

You are not a terrible parent if the sound of their voices sometimes makes you want to drink and never stop.

You’re not a terrible parent.

You’re an actual parent with limits. You cannot do it all. We all need to admit that one of the casualties specific to our information saturated culture is that we have sky-scraper standards for parenting, where we feel like we’re failing horribly if we feed our children chicken nuggets and we let them watch TV in the morning.

One of the reasons we are so exhausted is that we are oversaturated with information about the kind of parents we should be.

So maybe it’s time to stop reading the blogs that tell you how to raise the next President who knows how to read when she’s three and who cooks, not only eats, her vegetables. Maybe it’s time to embrace being the kind of parent who says sorry when you yell. Who models what it’s like to take time for yourself. Who asks God to help you to be a better version of the person that you actually are, not for more strength to be an ideal parent.

So the next time you see your friends with small children with that foggy and desperate look in their eyes, order them a pizza and send it to their house that night. Volunteer to take their kids for a few hours so they can be alone in their own house and have sex when they’re not so tired, for heaven’s sake. Put your hand on their shoulder, look them in the eyes, and tell them that they’re doing a good job. Just don’t freak out if they start weeping uncontrollably. Most of the time, we feel like we’re botching the whole deal and our kids will turn into horrible criminals who hate us and will never want to be around us when they’re older.

You’re bone tired. I’m not sure when it’s going to get better. Today might be a good day or it might be the day that you lost it in a way that surprised even yourself.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

You’re not alone.

http://www.stevewiens.com/2013/03/12/to-parents-of-small-children-let-me-be-the-one-who-says-it-out-loud/

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In my earnest desire to share my thoughts, you may think I'm really good at everything I say. Well, I'm not. Life's a learning process, and I share what I have just learned or have learned in the past. Life is about ebb and flow. Concentrate on one or two things, but not everything all at once or you'll collapse. Live life, not as you were dying, but as if you are living!

Saturday Laughs

Sorry I'm late.
What happened?
Nothing, I just really didn't wanna come.

Trailer Trash Boob Job Kit
Inflate, tie and insert into Bra.
Caution: Avoid Sharp Corners

Bonus joke: Where goes a general keep his armies?

In his sleevies! Haha! Happy smiley first day of summer Saturday!