Saturday, May 9, 2015

Cute Mommy

My three year old was looking at pictures of us in the hospital after her little sister was born. There was one of me holding the baby not long after giving birth. I was swollen and sweaty with a tired smile on my face. I said to my daughter, "Oh, cute baby!" My daughter's response was, "Cute Mommy!"

It doesn't matter if I have bed head and holey pajamas, or whether I've spent an hour making myself look all done up, to her it's all "Cute Mommy!" She loves me purely as only a child can, so to her I am beautiful all the time because she sees me as my best self.

I became a mother the minute I was pregnant for the first time. I lost my first child, but he is still my son and I am still his mother and always will be. Even though he's not here and my two daughters are, he made me a mom.

Being a mom is intense. There is so much love for my children. The more I love them, the more vulnerable I become. Their pain is my pain, their joy is my joy. My love for my husband has grown more as I watch him be a dad. The love and appreciation for my parents and all their sacrifices, tears, and prayers has grown as well. My relationship with God, my father in heaven, has changed- first the loss of our son caused an adjustment in our relationship, then raising my two daughters has given me insight into his godly mystifying mind.

Growing up I always wanted to be a mom, and now that I am, it's a journey that I love and that defines me each day. I want to thank my son for making me a mom, a cute mommy. 

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