You Know You're A Parent When

You know you are a parent or around kids a lot when ...

When your fridge is more full of your kid's art and fingerprints than food inside.

When you find random photos or texts on your phone.

When you try everything to get your kid to eat, then finally resort to eating it yourself, and as soon as you take the last bite they want it and are upset you ate it.

When you find your kid without a diaper, and wonder how many places their little butt has been.

When you finally get mad at your kid, and then they cry and come to you for comfort because you're their parent, and they still love you even when you're mad at them, breaks your heart.

When you're really sick and you still have to take care of someone else.

When you end up cleaning the whole house looking for something your toddler hid.

When you know the theme songs for all the cartoons.

When you find yourself watching cartoons even after the kids have left the room to go play.

When you don't have any energy and are dead tired but still have to get up three times in the middle of the night and somehow you can do it.

When you don't mind eating something your kid has licked.

When you have all sorts of bodily fluid on you, and it doesn't bother you too much.

When you walk around unknowingly with a sticker on you all day.

When you wear a shirt with a stain, and if someone says something you pretend it just happened.

When you ask where the 'potty' is or say the food is 'yummy' to another adult.

When you reference kid's shows in adult conversation.

When you rock as you stand even if you're not holding a baby.

When you feel like an interpreter for your little kid's way of talking.

When you're just about had enough and your kid hugs you and says they love you- makes it all worth it.

The Scariest Things

What are the scariest things to humans? Fear of the unknown and pain. People have stayed in misery because it's their known misery, they've grown accustomed to it, almost comfortable because it's understood or at least expected. People survive instead of thrive because they aren't sure how to change, or what will happen when they change. Will it actually be worth it? What happens if there is failure? What if I don't know what to do?

People won't truly change until they are ready for it, until they are in a place where they can make the change mentally and physically. How many people set goals or lifestyle changes only to fall back into their old habits. Some people make it through- drastic weight loss that stays off, change in eating and exercise habits that stays, complete change of personality, finally going for the dream instead of always planning.

It's hard, it hurts, there is failure, there are new and unexpected challenges, but moving to a higher plane is worth it every time, usually it's just a matter of time.

This weekend I went to lift a box I thought would be light but was actually quite heavy, and I was lifting improperly and felt something move in my lower back. According to the chiropractor my hip popped backwards out of place. If this has never happened to you, I greatly hope it never will.

My husband told me I was walking like a 90 year old woman, and I was because I was trying so hard to not feel the stabbing pain in my lower back. The spasms of the ligaments and muscles trying to protect the injured area made me want to just not move and hope it got better on its own. But of course that was unrealistic.

I went to a chiropractor and thought he helped but it still wasn't great. Then after a nap, I could hardly move without feeling the pain. I knew I couldn't stay on the bed and that I had to get up, but every move produced pain. I finally pushed myself through pain that hurt like hell and got myself to a sitting position then realized I couldn't move. I was crying, sweating, and breathing so hard. I yelled out to my husband and he helped me stand up and I took tiny baby steps to a chair where I cried some more.

My husband found a different chiropractor that would come into the office on a Saturday evening luckily, and I shuffled sideways to the car. The chiropractor was so patient and understanding of my reluctance to move, my crying, my mini break down, my fear. He took the time to figure out what was wrong and how to help me, but wouldn't proceed until I was ready. He managed to pop the hip back into place but let me know that I would still be in pain and couldn't really do anything for the next little while. He showed me how to sit down, sit up, lay down, move without too much pain. He also told me it will hurt to do normal things like brush my teeth, laugh, and even breathe sometimes.

It still hurts a lot, and I have to be careful but knowing how to take care of myself correctly, and mostly knowing that this too will pass helps. I know in a little while that I'll be able to cook, do the laundry, and more importantly, pick up my children when they want to be held. I'll be able to hug my husband without worrying about pain, and I'll remember to lift correctly.

My point with this long story? Sometimes you have to push through pain that hurts like hell and just trust that someday it will get better. Find someone that can help you deal with your pain correctly and follow their advice. Let others take care of you when you need it so that you can take of them when you feel better. Don't let fear of the unknown and pain hold you back from getting to a better place. Give yourself time for your wounds to heal. Just breathe, breathe deeply. Mostly, be thankful for misfortune that skips you, and grateful for what you do have in your life.

Wanted: A Little Humility

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Someone posted this picture in a mom's group on facebook. Many of the answers were the same: hatred, violence, evil, mean people, greed, pride. My first thought was war, probably inspired by watching Mockingjay recently. 

There are so many bad things that happen every day- why? Because people have traveled down paths, little by little, that led them to do horrendous things. Nobody wakes up and decides to abuse, kill, or harm another person without first traveling a path that led them there. 

We all have bad thoughts occasionally, it's human nature. But each time we entertain the thought, it puts down a stone on that path. We can easily turn around and start a different path, but the more stones we put down, each bad thought we muse on, leads us farther down a path. The further you go, the harder it is to take another path. 

People think the strong people are the bullies, the vicious, the loud; but truly they are the weak ones hiding behind a facade. You see true strength in humility. Stories of forgiveness, turning the other cheek, reaching out to the enemy, and dealing with hard issues. 

It's easy to make a snide remark for the laughs, it's hard to not retaliate and walk away. It's easy to be with your friends, it's hard to reach out to others. It's easy to make an anonymous mean comment online, it's hard to let the mean comments go. It's easy to get road rage, it's hard to let the anger go. It's easy to yell at someone's mistake, it's hard to stay calm and work to fix the issue with love. 

A little humility goes a long way in having a peaceful life. When you realize that answering with love not anger helps solve the problem, that people are mean as a defense to their pain not as a personal attack, that everyone has their strengths and weakness, that their accomplishments do not take away from your hard work, that we need to let people make mistakes, that we need to let ourselves make mistakes. 

Humility isn't being a pushover, being weak, or having low self confidence. Humility is understanding your great individual worth without thinking you are better than others. Humility is understanding that people aren't perfect and overlooking the small things. Humility is having the strength to control your emotions and your actions, to act not react. Humility is appreciating your blessings and looking for the good in your life and in people. 

If more people acted with humility, there would be less anger, less fighting and wars, less abuse, less evil. People would be happier and have more peaceful lives. People would be more productive, really listening and trying to understand others. The world would be a better place. 

Next time try a little humility. :)

How Do I Say This?

When you have something big to announce it can be fun to plan a big surprise if it's happy. But if it's bad news, you almost don't want to tell anyone because every time you say it, it becomes more real, it sinks in even more.

When we lost our first child, we made a general announcement on facebook after letting close family and friends know. But there were still people that we had to call because we knew they would want to know. I just couldn't make the phone calls, so my poor husband took the task. Every phone call was so hard.

Well, we have other big bad news. Our second daughter has neuroblastoma cancer and ataxia. It took about a month to officially diagnose from the first symptoms. It was a shock to hear the doctor say our daughter has cancer, but it was a little bit of a relief to finally know what the cause was, but still mostly a very depressing moment.

She's since had surgery to remove most of her tumor, and they'll be keeping a close eye on her to see if the remaining tumor grows again. We've also been treating her ataxia, helping her to walk better. She's at a point right now where her surgery wounds are healed enough, and her ataxia medication is working well enough that she's walking so fast. It's amazing to see her go from crawling because she couldn't walk anymore to almost running!

It has been really hard, but I've seen many people with worse problems. Every time I get too depressed, I hear about someone else's problems and I am thankful I'm not going through that trial. People fleeing from war and trying to make a new home as a refugee in another country, houses burning to the ground or being destroyed by earthquakes, deadly car accidents, and even people whose cancer is much more aggressive and advanced than our daughters.

If all goes well with our daughter, which the doctors are optimistic, then this could hopefully all be a bad memory. Not to say that there isn't a rough road ahead, because there still is much that needs to be done with our daughter, but the outlook is hopeful.

We don't know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice we have.

Faith Verses Logic

There are a lot of commandments that don't make sense: the conflicting commandments to Adam and Eve to not eat of the tree of knowledge but to multiply and replenish the earth, or Nephi being commanded to kill Laban and lie about being him when that would be breaking two of the ten big commandments. 

Commandment aren't about logic, they're about faith. Not blind faith, but conversing with God faith.

Andrew Whittle gave the following insight on a quote: "President Henry B. Eyring: 'Human judgment and logical thinking will not be enough to get answers to the questions that matter most in life. We need revelation from God.' This really spoke to me because I am a logical thinker and have struggled with certain things because it did not make logical sense. I have learned to increase my faith so I can one day understand things I may not know now. [Someone] asked ... what the opposite of faith was. ... The opposite of faith is logic."

My friend, Jackie wrote a blog post about it as well: Jackie's Post. She gave a great example of how sometimes your kids do something and you get mad at them without letting them explain what they were doing. Then later after you've calmed down, you go back and ask them what happened and they give a reasonable explanation that makes you feel bad for not listening before. You know your kids are good kids and next time something out of the ordinary happens, talking with them is probably the best solution.

When God, not a church and not some guys in charge, but when God decides to make a commandment, there's a good reason behind it which will only be found by talking to Him.

Faith is something that cannot be logically explained. It's something inside you which comes from an outside heavenly source. It's believing without seeing the whole picture, but knowing it's a good picture. It's opening up your heart and mind to something beyond yourself and the world you see around you. It starts small and grows. Faith defies logic.