Sometimes being the bigger person feels like you are letting other people win. Don't worry, they really aren't winning, you are. Someday they will have to answer for what they have done. There will be consequences for every comment and action. Keep in mind that you will have consequences for your thoughts and actions also. Good thoughts, words, and actions will have good consequences eventually. Bad thoughts, words, and actions will have bad consequences eventually. Choose the good so you will get good back!
Forgiveness, especially for someone who doesn't care about being forgiven or doesn't even know they've hurt you, can be one of the hardest things to achieve in this life. It won't necessarily be a one and done event, it is a process that sometimes must be gone through multiple times.
Hurt, frustration, resentment, contempt, pride, and mostly anger act like festering sores in the soul. Just reading these words brings up bad feelings. We've all been hurt before, or are currently hurting. These feelings lead to depression, sadness, laziness, coldness, insecurity, turmoil, dishonor, fear, loneliness, and apathy. If you can rid yourself of the negative emotions inside, you will be doing yourself a great service.
The opposite of these feelings and emotions is happiness, joy, love, belonging, warmth, calmness, hope, pleasure, security, acceptance, and mostly peace. Reading these words can put a smile on your face because deep down every person wants to feel that way. Forgiveness can help put you on the path to becoming a better person and living a life after the manner of happiness.
Notice, I didn't say forget, I said forgive. Many people say you should forgive and forget. While there is some truth to that, you also put yourself in a vulnerable place to be hurt again. The act need never be mentioned again. It can be like it never happened, but it did happen, and forever more there will be a small warning flag in your head when you are with the person or in a similar situation. This is nature's way of protecting you.
It is still very possible to have an okay relationship with someone that's hurt you, but your mind will say 'proceed with caution', which is what you should do.
Forgiveness is about you, not the other person. Forgiveness is about taking the poison out of your soul. It's about healing the festering sores in your soul. There will still be a scar which will help you to not forget, but there won't be the anger and hurt, or at least not so much of it. If they poke your scar, it will probably hurt, but don't let them cut you again if possible.
Don't let little stupid people break your happiness either! It's been said that the best revenge is a life well lived, and there's a lot of truth to that. It might not be the revenge you want to take, like hitting or yelling at the person, but it's about being the bigger person.
If you can live a happy life, so much the better for you. Don't waste your time thinking about people or situations that hurt you. Don't let them steal your time that way. Don't give them that time. The best thing you could say when the person asks what you think of them is to say that you don't think of them at all! People like that crave attention, whether it be positive or negative attention. So to give them no attention at all is best if it is possible in your situation.
There are always people and situations we cannot avoid, and when this is the case, try and rise above them and let their words and actions flow under the bridge you built above them. Don't swim in their filth, stay on your bridge above them and let it all flow away from you.
It make take a lot of deep breaths, a lot of counting to ten before speaking, and a lot of work, but it's worth it! Don't let yourself be dragged down to their level.
Rise above. Let it go. Desire happiness then achieve it. Keep your standards high. Live and let live. Put good people in your life. Do things that bring you joy. Be true to yourself, and be true to those you love and that love you.
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